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I reread this yearly. Always a good reminder of what I need to do for my husband. Don't be concerned about the idea that this book is adultery proofing your marriage. It kind of surprised me at first and then I realized that if one of us lacks something of course we would look elsewhere to fulfill that need (even subconsciously). This book has been so helpful to help us understand each others needs.

I love the revised version the best have all 3 copies and they are very similar but the revised is more for todays day in age. :o)
I've been married for 17 plus years and just now read this book and loved it so much that I purchased it for my entire family and will be giving it to all newly weds as well. Whether you have a fantastic marriage or on the brink of divorce this book is for you! I don't love the "affair proof" in the title part because it seems as if there is an issue even if there's not but that's it. I love his website that has so much free and good information on it too! Marriagebuilders.com It's awesome! I've read tons of marriage books and self help books but none of them actually address what your husband's needs are and what your needs as a wife are so despite every effort you could just be not doing what they need the most to make them the most happy and vice versa. I thought that after 18 years with my husband dating for a year then marriage for 17 plus that I knew his needs and wants but I was actually wrong! Crazy right!!?!! You might not even know what your needs are and this book will definitely help you figure that out and start making your marriage completely awesome!!! I also highly recommend the dvd and the guide for it! The dvd goes over the top 10 needs in 6 - 20 minute intervals or segments so you if you can't get hubby or wife to read the book you can get them to watch the 20 min videos and that alone is going to help tremendously! You could do it all in one or two evenings or break it into 6 weeks. If you do nothing else at all and do not buy this book I would suggest that you go to the website and click on the questionnaires and do the one that is for needs have yourself and your spouse fill it out to at least identify each other's top 5 needs. The website is free, no memberships no subscriptions unless you want to participate in forums. He also has a free radio show and app. He the author and his wife have been married for over 50 years! I really can't say enough good things about this book but I will say that one of you if not both of you have to want your relationship to work for this book to work for you. If neither of you is willing to make some changes and put the other person first then no one will change and no one's needs will be met. Even if only one of you is willing and the other one is still there but doesn't care anymore really I believe this book will work for you! You will be meeting their needs and they will have no choice but to feel happy seriously I know that might sound too easy or corny but it's true. I love love love this book and am so very happy I found it! It's made a world of difference and happiness in my life. I plan on getting some of his other books now :o)
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!!

We got through 4 chapters over a few weeks and then tossed it in the recycle bin. It reads like it was written in the 1950s.
Granted there are some good discussion questions that led to some great conversations between my new husband and me, but it was just nearly intolerable to read.
I peeked at later chapters and was outright offended by some things. (as a woman that I know nothing of my own sexuality and that I need to count calories and wear the makeup that my husband prefers. WOW)

This is a really special book, and I am hoping that Amazon continues to make this product available for purchase. I bought two hard cover copies and was a little distressed to see that it is already temporarily out of stock! Really hoping it becomes available soon because I have a LIST of persons to give this to. I am currently engaged and my dad borrowed this book from our church library for me to read. Wasn't too interested at first, but then I began to read this book (Had never heard of it before)... and was so surprised and gutted at the same time. Wow - this drove so many truths right down into my being - it was amazing how much I felt that this was something both my fiance and I NEEDED... And we have read it together and spoken about it countless times. Also, in addition to dealing with our own issues, when our friends are going through rough times in their marriages, we can actually UNDERSTAND the difficulties they face. Marriage is no easy relationship - and that is an understatement when we look all around us. Thanks to the author of this book we are going into our marriage later this year, with our eyes open to many things that we did not understand before - matters that seemed vague and seemingly trivial are not so AT ALL. For me personally, it was like the pieces of a puzzle coming together - in my 35 years of existence as a human being and some previous relationship experiences - there are some things here that became much clearer and things I wish I had understood before.

Dr. Harley shows the five top-order emotional needs of men and women and how each can meet the other's needs, in the context of 'affair-proofing' your marriage. Also, what stood out for me was that these needs are VERY different and therefore requires understanding, patience and WORK. But what you can begin to experience after reading this book, understanding the concepts, accepting and applying them, can make your relationship PHENOMENAL. My fiance and I have become closer and our interactions with each other have significantly improved our relationship (more love 'deposits' in our love banks - go read it for yourself!). Also, I found some of Dr. Harley's videos on youtube.com: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGjriUcN39Q - This is the first in a six video series. I sent these to a couple of my colleagues, and they have nothing but the most outstanding reviews to give on these videos and want to purchase the book.

Thank you Amazon for making this available!... and please... we want more! :)

Not just another book ... this is by far one, if not, the BEST book for keeping your marriage going IF you can both be honest and work on your own stuff rather than always blaming. It also explains why we feel the way we do which helps the other one understand what to work on too!!

Highly recommend this book to everyone. I buy this for all of my friends when they get married and we have all read it multiple times. So many good insights. For me, I read it without all the sometimes extremes of “you didn’t listen to your wife. So she went to work that morning and found someone who would listen and she had an affair on you. You should’ve listen” and take it for the good insights and recommendations and for what it is. Either way. I love the book. This will stay on my bookshelf forever.