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by Denise N. Wheatley

Denise_N._Wheatley Short_Stories_and_Anthologies English
  • ISBN: 0743250567
  • Category: Fiction
  • Author: Denise N. Wheatley
  • Subcategory: Short Stories & Anthologies
  • Other formats: rtf azw mbr lrf
  • Language: English
  • Publisher: Touchstone; Original ed. edition (August 10, 2004)
  • Pages: 224 pages
  • FB2 size: 1181 kb
  • EPUB size: 1631 kb
  • Rating: 4.7
  • Votes: 166
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I Wish I Never Met You book. Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read. Start by marking I Wish I Never Met You: Dating the Shiftless, Stupid, and Ugly A Novel as Want to Read: Want to Read saving. Preston the Project Mishap Ernest the Undercover Sugarbooty. Start by marking I Wish I Never Met You: Dating the Shiftless, Stupid, and Ugly A Novel as Want to Read: Want to Read savin. ant to Read.

Read unlimited books and audiobooks on the web, iPad, iPhone and Android. I Wish I Never Met You is the hilarious, uncensored confession of one woman, reeling from a lifetime of dating disasters - the blind dates, the nightclub crawlers, the ballers, the liars, and the ugly but earnest suitors. As she tries to sort out what she's learned from the heartache and the embarrassments, she'll have you laughing out loud, thanking God it's not your life while recognizing that you've made all the same mistakes. Read on the Scribd mobile app.

I Wish I Never Met You is the hilarious, uncensored confession of one woman, reeling from a lifetime of dating disasters - the blind dates, the nightclub crawlers, the ballers, the liars, and the ugly but earnest suitors.

In I WISH I NEVER MET YOU, author Denise N. Wheatley . There are thirteen stories divided into four sections, and the novel is full of colorful, well-portrayed characters. The narrator is a trip!

There are thirteen stories divided into four sections, and the novel is full of colorful, well-portrayed characters. The narrator is a trip!

I Wish I Never Met You. Dating the Shiftless, Stupid, and Ugly A Novel.

I Wish I Never Met You. By Denise N. Preston the Project Mishap Ernest the Undercover Sugarbooty Marvin the Married Man-Boy Forrest the Foul Fiancé What single woman hasn't been desperate enough to risk it all in an attempt to find True Love? Vulnerable enough to believe in the whole girl-meets-boy, -love, -ever-after, blah, blah, blah? News flash: It never happens that way. Eventually, a girl learns that the road to Mr. Right is littered with more than a few Mr. No Ways.

5 books of Denise N. More . Book rate: 0 downloads. Shadow of a Man. Veronica can read minds-but only during intense bouts of danger that have always plagued. Dating the Shiftless, Stupid, and Ugly. The unnamed narrator of this ranting first novel freely heaps scorn on her dates’ physical appearance, egotism, revolting habits, empty wallets, etc. She wrinkles her nose at the downright disgusting places they take her, reserving her most vitriolic sallies for anything that smacks of poverty or crime. Offering up a set of cautionary tales that are "a generous contribution from me to society," Wheatley's nameless African-American heroine describes the fate of 13 hapless suitors in this flimsy, sour debut

I Wish I Never Met You. Publisher Description. Offering up a set of cautionary tales that are "a generous contribution from me to society," Wheatley's nameless African-American heroine describes the fate of 13 hapless suitors in this flimsy, sour debut. Each man suffers from a physical, emotional or maturational deficiency or a combination thereof that eventually destroys the relationship; each story is followed by a scrambled moral of sorts advising readers who not to get with ("Bottom Damn Line: Fuck a fence-straddling pansy who makes you feel like a manly reject").

She’s best known for her chick lit novel I WISH I NEVER MET YOU, which was published by Simon & Schuster in 2004. Denise received a . Official book release date: 10/15. Denise N. Wheatley, Writer. She has since traditionally published several novels and novellas, including contemporary, suspense and paranormal romance. in English from the University of Illinois at Chicago, the city where she was born and raised. She’s written screenplays and ghostwritten for some of your faves, and when she’s not sitting behind a computer, you can find her in a movie theater, on a tennis court, watching true crime television or chatting on social media.

Preston the Project Mishap Ernest the Undercover Sugarbooty Marvin the Married Man-Boy Forrest the Foul Fiancé What single woman hasn't been desperate enough to risk it all in an attempt to find True Love? Vulnerable enough to believe in the whole girl-meets-boy, girl-and-boy-fall-in-love, the-two-live-happily-ever-after, blah, blah, blah? News flash: It never happens that way. Eventually, a girl learns that the road to Mr. Right is littered with more than a few Mr. No Ways. I Wish I Never Met You is the hilarious, uncensored confession of one woman, reeling from a lifetime of dating disasters -- the blind dates, the nightclub crawlers, the ballers, the liars, and the ugly but earnest suitors. As she tries to sort out what she's learned from the heartache and the embarrassments, she'll have you laughing out loud, thanking God it's not your life while recognizing that you've made all the same mistakes.
Reviews about I Wish I Never Met You: Dating the Shiftless, Stupid, and Ugly A Novel (7):
Trash
This was a very fun read from beginning to the end...I literally laughed till my stomach hurt!!! I bought it for a few friends and they loved it also!!!
Blacknight
The funniest book I've ever read!! I couldn't put it down... I wish Denise would write more books just like this one!
Kajishakar
this book is one of the funniest i've read. i understand all the fuss about it, but its fiction! it didnt really happen. i could not put this book down when i first read it. the stories are so funny, sometimes those guys got what they deserved. i really recommend that people with a sense of humor read this
Still In Mind
This book makes a great summer read. It's one of those great tomes you can dip into from time to time, too (depending on how busy your schedule is). Although admittedly I thought I was going to read it slowly (here and there) and got totally hooked and couldn't put it down. Waiting for a sequel now. And no, I'm not kidding. This is a real page turner for anyone who's dated the wrong person (especially if they did so knowingly or ignoring their best instincts)!
Umdwyn
She makes no apologies for her treatment of men, insisting she was not always right or wrong as all she wanted was to find her soulmate. Instead the sister insists that the highlights of her manly encounters were the dregs; some of the cretins she "dated" had genetic issues and those were higher up the food chain than several of these losers. In other words there are an overwhelmingly larger number of Mr. Wrongs than Mr. Rights.

I WISH I NEVER MET YOU is often an amusing chick lit short story collection starring a sassy (too cocky perhaps for some) in your face African-American woman. The narrator circumcises the males she encounters for containing physical, mental, emotional, or marital status failures. Some readers will be turned off by the profanity and vividly graphic descriptions of her "golden" dates with the "shiftless, stupid, and the ugly". Still well written, the audience will laugh at the antics and comments of the narrator, but also feel somewhat guilty for doing so since the protagonist is dislikable for her arrogant disregard of the feelings of others she considers her inferiors as throughout this anthology slices and dices men.

Harriet Klausner
Anasius
Look for it, and you'll find it. The bottom line, the lesson to be learned, the moral of the story is visible for all who dare to look. No matter what we go through in life, the bottom line is there for us to recognize it and the simple way it keeps us grounded (if we pay attention). In I WISH I NEVER MET YOU, author Denise N. Wheatley shares with us quite a few bottom lines from one woman's crazy dating life. Through all the drama, the burning down of apartments, the fights, the loving, and the laughter, the narrator identifies the hardcore reality of every one of her stories and unabashedly shares that with her audience.

Aside from good morals, the narrator also shares with us some of the most hilarious, shocking, shameless, and disappointing dating stories that I have ever read or heard. While I must admit that a few of the tales hit home for me, I'm very glad that my dating life isn't as bad as this woman's. Whew! Sure, most of us have dated liars, cheaters, and/or abusers, but the men in this book take the cake. So does our fearless narrator. The main character from whose perspective author Wheatley writes is a force to be reckoned with. She dropkicked one man on the dance floor, burned down another's apartment, and peppered sprayed another one in the club - all for very valid reasons, of course. She's had to deal with married men, men who couldn't decide what team they were batting for, men with money, men who acted like they had money, and men who didn't care that they were broke as hell. Although she has been through a lot, she survived and lived to share her horror stories with us.

It is because of Denise N. Wheatley that I survived a three-hour train ride. Her novel, I WISH I NEVER MET YOU, had me laughing so hard and gasping so much that people kept staring at me wondering what was wrong with me. I didn't care and read on, getting more and more engrossed into her comical writing style and the appallingly amusing dating stories she told. There are thirteen stories divided into four sections, and the novel is full of colorful, well-portrayed characters.

The narrator is a trip! Her voice is strong and flows well throughout all the stories. While some crazy things happen, nothing is over the top. True, all the drama is believable, but I would never have imagined people would actually do some of the things done in this book. I enjoyed Wheatley's writing style. She often uses witty repetitions to hammer in a point, assist the reader in making connections, or for comic relief. The section intros and quotes are well written and appropriately placed. I enjoyed all the stories, but my favorites are the ones in The Big Payback section.

I also like how each story ends with an often amusing, but very true, bottom line. My only problem with the book is the amount of foul language, but there is a good, forewarning disclaimer at the beginning. I WISH I NEVER MET YOU is a great debut novel by Wheatley. (RAWSISTAZ Rating: 4.5)

Reviewed by Natasha T.

of The RAWSISTAZ Reviewers
Arabella V.
I Wish I Never Met You

Denise N. Wheatley 3 1/2 stars

This comical collection of dating mishaps is hilarious!

The narrator, no name given takes you through her dating dilemma's with Doug the Heinous Dragon, Preston the Project Mishap, Ernest the Uncover Sugar Booty, Warren the so called Wonder..ect..

At the end of each dating story she gives you tips labled Bottom Damn Line:

on how to avoid the same disaster.

We've all had a few dating dilemma's but this sisters stories are wild. Yours won't hold a candle to these. In her quest to find Mr. Right she definitely meets some jokers.

My Bottom damn Line:

This books was Bananas! straight up, no sugar coating. This nameless narrator was oustrageously funny. I enjoyed her mishaps. Glad they aren't mine.

reviewed by

Dawn
This is such a funny book!!

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